Chapter 3: Triumvirate
“Stop staring, Winston.”
“I can't help it, you're beautiful,” I said as I looked into the eyes of one of the most beautiful women in the land.
“I am also 81 years old,” Diana Rigg reminded as she cleared the table of breakfast.
“Age is just-”
“A number, yes, you've already said that. Now run along now, mummy's busy.”
“I don't want to go, I want to stay here with you.”
“The only reason you're bored is because you don't go out to make friends, so get out there and make friends so that you'll stop thinking of an actress who was attractive fifty years ago.”
I stayed where I was and reached for the coffee pot. She swept up my cup without missing a beat.
I shrug myself off the chair and made for the door. I look back at her from the doorway.
“I'll see you in my dreams,” I said, blowing her a kiss.
Traffic was horrible in EroFights today. Waiting lines were choked with blue men. Packs of blue men have taken to stopping passing red women to get their attention. I look at one such group of blues and wonder if I should do something.
A passing thought, not especially compelling. I made my way to the waiting lines. As I passed the FEMDOM WITH CAPRICE building, I saw a round, stadium-like structure.
I looked at the Classic waiting line that stretched around the block, and at the Femdom line that stretched to infinity.
“Fuck it, let's see some bots beat each other off to death.”
The Bot Arena was much smaller than it looked from the outside. Long, circular benches were arranged in tiered circles. At the center of it all, a red robot and a blue robot did battle.
“See what I'll do to your cock?”
“You sure are a very sexy girl!”
They went on like that. For hours. Talking incoherently and banging their metal uglies against each other. clank clank clank clank clank...
“Hot,” I finally decided. Moving away from the entrance after standing there for hours, I decided to walk down to the seats where several blue men were talking, their heads facing away from the bot-bucking.
“It's so hard to get a game around here, there's not enough girls,” said one blue.
“I've been Number 1 for 5 HOURS!” another one said.
I sat awkwardly behind them, the subject of their conversation was a familiar one, but to hear it spoken about in such a whiny fashion wasn't particularly appealing. I decided to just get up and just sit alone, on the highest tier where I can be alone with my thoughts and the metal clanking of hot bot-on-bot action.
This city had potential. But I didn't like what I've begun to see and hear on a regular basis. Blue man stopping red women on their way to the waiting lines. Constant whining. Perhaps I should just go. I've had my good times here. Milovana is still open, there's no need to be here-
“Bonjour, mon ami! Why are you sitting here tou seul? Why aren't you down there with the others talking about how horny they all are?”
I turned at the voice. It was a blue. I flicked my eyes up and his name appeared above his head.
I knew precious little French, but I guess I could try.
“C'est la mode,” I said, jerking my chin up at the group of whining blues below. “I'm not a very fashionable guy.”
“Charmant!” Frenchie said, offering his hand. “I'm just here to have fun, what about you, cher ami?
“I'm here to see if these fucking bots are ever going to stop.”
“And you have been watching for how long?”
“6 hours, give or take.”
We talked a bit more after that, the type of small talk that is useless in doing anything except build friendships.
“Ave! What are you two doing here in this forum?”
It was another blue. I flicked my eyes up again.
And the cycle began again. We talked about ourselves, about each other, and made fun of the infinite stamina of the bots.
“I need your assistance, friends,” Frenchie said after awhile. “I realised that I'm the only one in the front page without a profile pic. What do you think it should be?”
“Front page?” Andre asked.
“You don't know l'frontpage? It's a list of all the highest level EroFighters! I'm one of them!”
I smiled. “Since you're such a great fighter, you should use a painting of my favorite Frenchman and famous ladies man, Napoleon Bonaparte!
Frenchie smiled at that.
“Yes! C'est une bonne idée! Magnifique!”
I smiled. “Do it! If you do, I shall be your rival, the Duke of Wellington!”
“And what about me?” Andre said.
“You're Italian, right? Why not Cleopatra's man, Julius Caesar?”
“You are a man of big ideas, Winston.”
“You bet your fucking ass I am.”
END OF CHAPTER 3
IN LOVING MEMORY
Diana Rigg is beautiful, shut up.
The conversation between me and Frenchie and Andre is not verbatim. In fact it was much shorter and Andre was not around. I think Andre chose Julius Caesar on his own accord. It's true that I suggested Napoleon and I chose the pic of Duke Wellington though.
I don't know where Frenchie is. Can someone find my friend?
I love France so much, my favourite French woman will also appear in a future chapter.