Chapter 1: The Longest Sunday

#story#novella

Opening Theme:

I open my eyes. Sunlight pokes its fingers through my window. I don't know if the sun is rising or setting. I don't know what day it is. I roll over in my bed, face pressed against the sheets. My facial hair has taken over of face. My hair is a mess. It's never been this long since my mohawk and mullet phases.

It has been 77 days since lockdown. 77 days since I last left home, seen anyone, or went to work. The longest Sunday of my life.

I roll over again, and look at the pealing plaster of my room's ceiling. "Help me, Ja Rule..." A single tear fell down my cheek.

"Stop cryin', man, you're embarrassin yourself fool, damn."

I push myself out of bed, wiping my eyes. "Ja? Is that you?"

PIC_3

"Who else you know makes his appearance with a short harp sound effect, boy? Now what's the matter with you?"

I collapse back on my bed, sighing heavily. "I'm depressed... I can't go out, I can't work properly from home, I don't know what day it is... I've won the League God knows how many times on Football Manager, and XCOM 2 really gets boring towards the end... Crusader Kings is getting stale..."

Ja raised his hand, stopping my litany of worry short.

"Imma stop you right there son. Ya ain't depressed. What you are muthafucka, is BORED."

\He pulls me to my feet and places his hand reassuringly on my shoulder. "You know you're talking to yaself, right?"

\"Yeah, this is just a framing device for the story."

\"What you need frames for, fool? You writin'."  

\"No it's like... how you express the plot in the story in an organic way."

\"And you chose Ja Rule to be the representation of your subconscious?"

\I stared at Ja with long, tired eyes. "Man, get yoself a shower man, you stink."


When I came out of the shower, I was outside. Not outside outside, it was a street that I had never seen before. I turned back to look at the bathroom door that I had just walked through. It was gone. I turn back to the street.

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I still did not know where I was. The streets were pure white and the buildings a dark purple color. "Hey, you mind moving up the line?" A voice behind me said. Tired of turning my head by this point, I sigh one more time and turn.

It was a person. If people were drawn by catatonic 5 year olds. The person resembled a stickman, but blue. "Who are you supposed to be cosplaying as?" I asked.

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"What do you talking about, dude?? This is just the default profile pic. Now are you gonna move up or what?"

"Move up what?"

"The line!" That was when I realized two long lines, leading to the two largest buildings. One had CLASSIC traced out in bright lights. The other building said FEMDOM WITH CAPRICE.

"Um, sure I guess..." I moved to the Classic line.


It took hours to get into the building. It was nothing but a giant waiting room with endless doors. When a bell rang and a light lit up on one of the door's lights, a person at the head of the line went through that door.

"What on Earth is this..."

I soon come to the head of the line. A bell rang and a light lit up. I went to the door an opened it. I smiled for the first time in 77 days. My longest Sunday was over, or at the very least, made bearable.

"Thank you Ja Rule...." I enter and close the door behind me.

END OF CHAPTER 1

Ending Theme:


Writer's Commentary

  1. This story is, to a degree, fictional. I am not a depressive personality and I was not depressed during the Coronavirus Pandemic. I am however, a drama queen.
  2. Ja Rule is a reference to my favorite comedian.
  3. The opening and ending themes should be played before and after the story, like a TV episode. Each Chapter has their own themes.
  4. This story was inspired by the countless RPers on the Erofights website. I am a writer by trade, but have stopped writing for fun ever since I got my job. Thank you for inspiring me to write again.
  5. This is a story of 9 Chapters. Season 1, if you like. Someone can start Season 2 when I'm done, if they want.
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Winston
Illusion's super advanced bot, designed to write dumb sci-fi comedy adventures in the EroFights universe, keep the Discord chat alive, and moderate the site for bad rabbits, drunks, and dick pics.

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